As an artist, I'll be honest, for a while I spent a good amount of years as the shadow artist archetype. A moth killing itself again and again at one lightbulb. Never dying. Just singing to caterpillars the mastery of my chaos. Blaming my muse for all my suffering and catering to every impulse and whim that came by. Embodying Chaos and making all my demons my besties. Boy, was it fun. It's still to this day a private joke between me and God. lol. But you know, I hit rock bottom thinking to myself that my poetry was never good enough and I had nothing of purpose to write or create. Always writing about being blocked. Yet somehow always writing.
All the while, I had been living one of the most creative and chaotic lifestyles that even Charles Bukowski could dream about writing about. The dance floor was the place where I unleashed my wild energy out into the world to inspire those around me and on social media, I shared my darkest secrets through each poem that I felt like sharing. All the while, spitting and wasting my talent with a victim mindset. I was a victim to my creative energy. It had power over me that no one had ever had over me before. And I was using up all my power on the chaos. Dispersing it randomly like Discord from My Little Pony. No discipline to anything I did. A wild Pixie that could not die or be contained.
After a while, I had had enough of this lifestyle. I wanted to paint over it and make it birds. lol. I couldn't take it anymore. Besides the voice inside me, my family, my friends, and my creative projects felt severely hurt by all the chaos that I lived in. It was time to stop. Or at least get a hold of myself and the chaos being that I had become.
That's when I quit painting. I quit dancing. I quit writing. I quit creative nights. I quit creative days. I quit. Sort of. Any idea that tapped me on my shoulder, I said no too. And the only thing that I said yes too was healing my life. And that's where I put all my creative energy.
This pause saved me from myself. I used my creativity to establish healthier food habits, quit drinking, and put all my focus in building back up my relationships with myself, my friends, and my family. I went deep into it. I meditated, practiced yoga, went to therapy, reiki healers, journaled everyday, and developed a routine that was minimal enough for me to be freely chaotic but also ground myself into this world. A disciplined Unicorn.
Now and days, if I feel a block, I think it's because I need to just take a break from creating. But I am a firm believer that everyday we wake up, we are creating something. Creativity is Electrifying- a manifestation of your heart and solar plexus fusing together and giving you creative power. Moving away from validation of those around me and merely stick to the validation of my boundaries and discipline. Challenging myself everyday to show up for the guide that is my life force. Working Light into every inch of my being. Life. Relationships. Projects.
So really, my ultimate advice on how to handle a creative block is to take some time to PAUSE. Live in Gratitude. Journal. Take a Bath. Read a Book. (The Jealous Curator wrote a great one about Creative Blocks). Breathe. Remind yourself that you are a creative being. Thank yourself, thank the gods, thank the ethereal mist, thank your family, thank your friends, and vibrate through your heart and hear what you need through your third eye and revel in all that is your glory. You are not blocked and you never were, because we are each living right now as creative energy. Connected fully to it and sharing space with it.
Fill from the cup of yourself and begin, again.